Recovering, Rebuilding, Reliving
by Sirius Toujours
Summary: In the now dark ages of Lord Voldemort, we find a depressed Harry, Suicidal Lupin, indecisive Draco, extremely angry(and shunned)Ron, freaked out Hermione, and a possibly NOT dead Sirius? And somehow there is humor to be found? Read up! Slash RS HD
1. A Torn Life

Ok, this is my first Harry Potter fanfic. I decided (mostly because I was so distraught by the demise of our dearest wizard Sirius) that I would pick up the summer right after. Oh and just in case you were wondering I am definetly not one of those people who think that Sirius is really gone. Oh he will have his own role to play. Anyway, it's a slow begginning but please read and review!

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**Recovering, Rebuilding, Reliving**

**1. A Torn Life**

A month had passed since that horrible day, the day that changed Harry's life forever. The scene of Sirius' death seemed to toy with his mind, as if provoking him to break down. Every day seemed just another cruel joke to Harry. Life was meaningless now, and soon he figured he would end it. But each dull morning, he would wake up, conscious of what was going on around him, and yet not wanting to be. He was now submerged in his own thoughts, never to break away from them, not even for a second. Food was tasteless, even water didn't quench his thirst. An outsider would truly wonder why he was pulling himself farther into this hellhole.  
  
On this particular morning, the weather finally seemed to fit Harry's mood. A boring drizzle fell from a gray haze of a sky preventing anyone from having any feelings of motivation. Pivot drive, usually bustling with the sounds of chirping birds, lawnmowers, whistling passersby, and hissing sprinklers, had now fallen silent amongst the rain.  
  
Harry had been awake listening to the rainfall for a while now. Although most people would find listening to rain rather boring, it was about the most exciting thing Harry had the energy to do nowadays. And so, as if the world were conspiring against him, ('It bloody well is' he thought) his blissful solitude was disrupted by the rapping of knuckles on a door.  
  
"Come get your food, stupid!" Dudley wailed from behind the door.  
  
With strenuous effort, Harry managed to lift himself to the door and unlatch the lock. Mr. Dursley had previously gotten rid of Harry's doggie door, because he had a suspicion (as he did of everything nowadays) that it was being used to somehow communicate with 'those people'. "He's been to quite lately!" Harry could recall him saying about two weeks ago.  
  
"Now take it scum. I've much beta' to do than be your servant!" Dudley spat, as Harry opened the door. Harry just looked at him wearily, as if words took to much effort. His face was now always expressionless, and in comparison to the living dead, he might as well have been a pile of dirt.  
  
"Finally lost it has' yeh' Harry? Why last summer you would have said something like "What better things?" But now yeh've just gone silent. It's a good thing to. You don't threaten us with that stupid wand of yours now, or that excuse of a man you claim to be your godfather. What has he done now? Gone on a killing spree and landed himself in jail again?" sneered Dudley, who since Harry's depression rolled in, had a gained an astonishing amount of confidence.  
  
Those words had crossed the line. Harry flared with emotion for the first time since the death. 'He'll pay for that.' Instinctively, he drew his wand from his pocket and pointed it directly at Dudley.  
  
"And what would you know about Sirius? You're nothing more than a powerless, sheltered, little, little, MUGGLE! You know what?" he said, changing his mood to a bitter low and relaxed tone, "You aren't worth it." With that Harry put his wand back in his pocket and headed back to his room, all in good timing as well.  
  
"What is taking you so long my little Diddy? Is he being troublesome dear?" Aunt Petunia questioned in that annoyingly sweet voice.  
  
"Yes! He took out that stick and pointed it at me! I think he got me with it!" Dudley wailed, grasping his side and pretending to be in pain.  
  
"Oh! My poor baby! Vernon! Come quick!"  
  
A loud thumping could be heard, as Vernon struggled to get up the stairs.  
  
"What now!? If that little weasels pulled one more trick, that'll be the end of him. Out I say, out! Why don't we just throw him on the streets?"  
  
Aunt Petunia, who was too busy taking care of the wailing blob known as Dudley, didn't even notice Uncle Vernon's ranting. Perhaps it was because of how hard she had to concentrate to make out the words of the now on the floor, and moaning Dudley, or the fact that she had just grown accustom to his yelling, and had learned to tune it out.  
  
"Ooooooh thhhhhhhhee paa ahhhh aaaai aaah iiiin"  
  
"Where does it hurt dear? Tell mama!"  
  
Harry who was now thoroughly disgusted, retreated back into his room for good and locked the door behind him. Normally, he would have been filled with anger now, and would immediately write to either Hermione or Ron, but now things were different. He just... didn't care anymore. 'So what if I get screamed at? This house can start on fire for all I care. That would actually be good. Maybe then I could get some peace and quite.' he thought dully. He had once again become lost in his thoughts, lying upon his bed.  
  
'After all I've been through? Why can't people just leave me alone? That's all I request.. It's not like I'm demanding extra care or anything. I just want peace.' With that thought, he fell back into sleep, filled with nightmares of horrible days.  
  
Occasionally he would also have dreams having to do with Hogwarts, but most were not at a certain location. Most of his dreams just had people in them. They all died. Many of the people he knew and was close to. Now he had distanced himself from them. Internally he was probably just afraid his dreams would become reality, but somehow, on the outside he had managed to convince himself that being isolated was good for him.  
  
However, once again, the conspiring world made haste to disrupt him. A loud swoosh, then a crack, followed by a stream of bangs and curses erupted from outside his window. He was instantly jolted awake, although he did not make haste to move. In fact he didn't even bother to open his eyes.  
  
"Potter!" Boasted a short soaked figure. The figure had just crept through his window. It appeared to be carrying a broomstick, and looked very shabby and disheveled. But as to why this person was here Harry had no idea. Out of all the people....

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Alright! I hope you liked. Yes no? See that button. Yeah, thats right, the one down in the left hand corner. Please click on it... and use it. Thanks! -Mel


	2. The visitor and the trip home?

Sorry for the long wait on the update. Also, in one week I am leaving for vacation so there won't be any updates. Hawaii! Woohoo. Anyway, on to the story now. Oh and don't forget the little friendly blue link in the corner! Click it when you're done. You know you want to!

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"Malfoy?" Harry questioned thoroughly confused.  
  
"It's to nice to see you too Potter. Anyway, I'll just get on with it. I was sent here by Dumbledore believe it or not. A lot has happened while you've been isolating yourself here. People were worried when you said you'd not be writing anymore. It's not like I cared or anything..." Malfoy trailed off, and Harry could have sworn there was a tiny blush on his pale face.  
  
"How would you know about the letter?" Harry questioned him, not really because he was interested or eager to learn, but rather just because he felt awkward letting Malfoy do all the talking.  
  
"Well, my father and the other death eaters broke out of Azkaban. I thought it would be good at first, but then when he demanded that I become a death eater.... Well I..." He trailed off once again. Harry felt a lurching feeling in his stomach. 'Could this be pity? Why would I be pitying him?'  
  
"I got scared. I realized what an irrational action it was. But my father, he wouldn't have that. So I ran for it. I really didn't have anywhere to go, but a great twist of fate came to me. I was found by our old defense against the dark arts teacher, Moody."  
  
Harry chuckled, envisioning what the real Moody might do away from the school campus. True, it had really been Crouch who had turned Draco into a ferret and whacked him on the ground. But still, from what Harry could gather, the real Moody would do worse.  
  
"Is that a laugh I hear?" Malfoy questioned, raising an eyebrow.  
  
'Wow... I laughed, somehow Draco... no, Malfoy made me laugh. Why?' Harry just looked at Malfoy lost in thought.  
  
"Fine, don't answer me. Anyway, as I was saying, Moody that old bat found me. He instantly thought I was up to no good, and I don't blame him, for the state I was in was atrocious. He grabbed me, and blindfolded me. I normally would have used a spell, but I am sure father had my wand jinxed, and any spell I cast would lead him right to me. So as disgraceful as it was, I went along with him. Hey! Are you still alive Ha.... Potter?"  
  
Harry suddenly realized that he had been staring. He blushed and quickly apologized.  
  
Malfoy eyed him strangely, as if taken aback by the apology. "Anyway," he continued, "We traveled for a while, and when I could finally see again I was in some very old looking room in a house. There he questioned me, and I told him why I was on the run. It took some convincing for him to believe that I truly wasn't spying for the Dark Lord. He eventually did, and then I was told where I was. Turns out, I was in the hideout for a anti-Voldemort society."  
  
"The order." Harry thought aloud.  
  
"What's that Harry?"  
  
Harry blushed at the sound of his name. 'Why the heck am I doing this? And better yet, why is he calling me by name?' "Oh nothing..." he stammered.  
  
"Well anyway, you do have it right. It was the order's hideout. I was soon told all about them and they let me join. That weasel's mom sure gave me a hard time about it. She kept going on about how I was "still to young to be fighting. Its to dangerous for young ones!" Of course I quickly reminded her that I was 17, and that I was fully capable of taking care of myself." Malfoy paused waiting for Harry to yell back at him about calling his friend a weasel, but no response came. A look of concern flashed across his face and then he continued. "So they gave me my first assignment, and that was, to come and get you. I am to bring you back to the headquarters."  
  
'Why did they send him? Out of all the people. Why not send Lupin or Moody?' There was awkward silence for a moment.  
  
"Don't you want to leave this place?" Draco asked, in attempt to break the silence.  
  
Harry for once had to think about that question. 'Here it is so quiet, and I can be left alone to think. But there it is always busy and people would surround me. It was bad enough when I left Hogwarts having everyone's sympathy, and now I would be there with them permanently. And also, I don't think I could stand being there, without Sirius. It would just feel so wrong. After all it is his house... why is Dra... Malfoy staring at me? He's blushing to...'  
  
"You don't want to leave, do you?"  
  
Harry didn't move.  
  
"You know what?" Malfoy said, his voice suddenly sounding harsher, "It's getting real annoying, trying to be all nice to you. They all told me, "be nice to him, he's hurting", but I don't think that's it. You just want the pity!"  
  
Harry could feel his eyes swelling with tears. 'Why do his words sting so much? I shouldn't care what he thinks." He looked up. Malfoy's face went paler than usual. (if that's even possible)  
  
'Damn, I didn't think he'd take that so seriously. What? He's crying! It wasn't that harsh! Come on! I'm not comforting him. I've already done enough but....' Malfoy looked into Harry's once green eyes. He remembered the first day he saw those eyes, how beautiful and deep they had been, but they also had sharpness to them, which nothing seemed to penetrate. But now, his eyes had grown paler, clouded over, and looked like the eyes of a tormented and restless soul.  
  
"Sorry... I didn't mean to be cruel..." Malfoy whispered nervously.  
  
"It's ok." Harry cringed. "You're right you know. There was still that part of me that wanted attention. But now, a lot of time has passed. I'd rather not have attention anymore. I just want solitude. Nothing matters anyway..."  
  
"That's not true Harry. A lot of things matter. If you wimp out on us now, Voldemort will win. You're the only one with the power to stop him..."  
  
'Why did I just pour my heart out to him?' Harry thought. 'Honestly, what has become of me? It doesn't really matter I guess, if people know how I feel. And in a really strange way, it almost seems right to tell him.'  
  
"Look, you're too lost in thought. You need to get out of here, out of this dump, and be around some other people. You know what happens to people that don't? They end up dead Harry. We're not going to let that happen to you."  
  
"What about the spell? The shielding one. The reason I had to stay in this treacherous house in the first place?"  
  
"Voldemort used your blood right? So therefore that spell is of no use anymore. You are under much better protection under a bunch of aurors than you are here, in the middle of a muggle neighborhood."  
  
"Yes, I suppose..."  
  
"So that's settled. You're coming with me. Pack your things, and grab your broom. You'll need that to travel. Oh and as for Hedwig, I saw her on the way here, and I told her to send a message to the hideout. She'll stay there."  
  
Harry did as he was told. For once, it felt right to follow Malfoy's orders. Once everything was gathered in his trunk, (with the exception of the bird cage which he would have to carry and the invisibility cloak he would be wearing) they headed towards the window.  
  
"Oh and I almost forgot," Malfoy began, "You have to leave some sort of note for those screaming muggles out there."  
  
Apparently they had been outside Harry's door the whole time, pounding and demanding he let them in. Malfoy, in no mood to be disrupted, had placed a barrier and silencing charm on it when he landed.  
  
"Oh yes."  
  
Malfoy summoned a piece of paper and quill, and Harry began to scribble down a note. Dear Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia,  
  
I will be leaving this house for the rest of the summer. Do not expect to see me anytime soon. As for Dudley, I never put a spell on him, only took my wand out, so once he quits his obnoxious wailing he will be fine.  
  
Good Day, Harry  
  
Harry smirked, satisfied with his letter. He dropped it on the floor by his door. Malfoy took off into the sky with an invisibility cloak on. Harry wasn't sure where he got it, but he figured it had been stolen from Mr. Malfoy. Harry followed after him, with his own invisibility cloak, and birdcage in hand.  
  
'I'm really flying. I'm getting away from that place. I'm free, and yet I don't feel good about it.'  
  
Twenty minutes later Harry was quite glad he had his cloak on. The rain that was drizzling earlier now began to pour down. It didn't hurt though, in a way it felt like a massage or one of those vibrating chairs. He was now filled with apprehension, wondering what would happen at the house. He wondered if it had ever really gotten clean. After all it had been a good six months since he had been there. The thought of when he had last been at the house, reminded him of how happy Sirius had been then. He was even singing Christmas carols and decorating the house. Thinking of him always made Harry more depressed. And so, his apprehension faded and replacing it came a feeling of utmost dread.  
  
Harry was finally torn from his dreamlike state when Malfoy yelled,  
  
"Prepare for landing Potter."  
  
'What where am I? Oh yeah, I'm going to the hideout with Draco, I mean Malfoy. Why do I keep saying his name? Its as if I feel closer to him somehow... Ah, yes landing.'  
  
They landed in-between 11 and 13 Grimmauld place. Before their eyes the houses began to spread apart and a new house materialized between them. They were now off their brooms and began to walk towards the house.  
  
'This is it.' Harry thought as he began the trudge up the steep creaky staircase. Suddenly a ghastly thought struck him. "Oh my god! Lupin, I didn't even think about him. He must be devastated. Is he still here?'  
  
Sure enough a tall, weary looking man opened the door. The man was so similar to the appearance of Harry when he had looked in the mirror, that he thought he was looking at an older version of himself. The man was worn out and exhausted looking. The state of his clothes was even shabbier than usual. His usually neatly combed hair was tossed everywhere.  
  
"Hello Harry." the man smiled unenthusiastically. "It's nice to see you. Come in now, your getting wet."  
  
Harry looked down at his clothes. He hadn't even notice how soaked he was getting. Next to him stood a shivering Malfoy, who looked as if he'd kill to get in that house. Harry began to step towards the house. With each step he took, images of old times swept passed him. He remembered the first time he had walked into this house. At that time he had been accompanied by a group of cheerful aurors and a smiling Lupin. But as he stepped inside and saw the others, he knew this visit would be nothing like the last.  
  
All the faces around him tried to hold fake smiles. 'A crypt would be a happier place than this. Who are they trying to fool?'  
  
"Harry dear! Its so nice to see you!" Mrs. Weasly sighed with delight as she squeezed him into her arms. Yet, the hug was not given out of happiness or love, but out of protectiveness, and fear.  
  
'This is going to be a long summer.' Harry thought looking towards Malfoy. 'Why is it that Draco is the only one I can turn to now?'  
  
Simultaneous with that thought, Hermione and Ron burst down the stairs.  
  
"Harry!" They both shouted. Hermione got to him first.  
  
"It's so wonderful to see you! Were the Dursley's treating you right? I wanted to write, but the others said I should respect your wish. Oh we've missed you so much Harry! How have you been?"  
  
"Just fine, Hermione." Hermione saw his expression and gave a worried look.  
  
"Are you sure? You don't look fine..." Ron then interrupted her.  
  
"Oh leave him alone 'ermione." He then turned his attention to Harry.  
  
"It's been real boring here without you. Not much of anyone to talk to with Fred and George off at their joke shop every day." Ron gave a nervous glance at Hermione and when seeing the look on her face added,  
  
"I mean 'ermione and Ginny are great, but they have been off talking about girl stuff a lot. And Malfoy here," He gave a cold glare, "Why I've had better conversations with a chess board!" He leaned in closer to Harry lowering his voice to a whisper  
  
"Honestly, ever since he came things got a lot worse around here. But you should have seen the look on his face when they took his wand. It was worth every chore Mum gave me for spying!" He looked at Harry expecting to see a smile, but his face was blank. If one could pick out any emotion was written on it, it would probably be sorrow or something of that sort.  
  
"Well you're not just going to leave Harry standing there with all of his things now are you." prodded Mrs. Weasly attempting to break the awkwardness. "Go along now! Show him to his room."  
  
Without a second thought Harry, Ron and Hermione headed upstairs. Harry glanced over his shoulder to get another look at Draco and Lupin, but they were gone.

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Dun dun dun.... ooops forgot no suspense this time. Anyway... click the friendly button!

-Mel


	3. The House of Black, without the Black

Oh wow... I just realized I made a huge mistake when writing the first chapter. I put "Pivot drive" instead of Privet Drive. I most likely typed "Privot" on accident and the computer suggested, "Pivot". My apologies.  
  
Meepmeep2118: Yes, I know he doesn't look like Lupin, but I was talking about how their moods were portrayed. Like Lupin with his stress colored gray hair, and just the all around unhappy aura he gives off. That's what is he Harry also appears like in the mirror. Also, I do realize Draco's a bit ooc so I am going to take your suggestion.  
  
Kireina1: Why thank you. I've also read all of your works, and I really like them!  
  
Jemma Blackwell: I'm glad you like it!  
  
Magus Durron: "quick question... is this set the summer right after the 5th book... cause how did Malfoy Sr. get into Azkaban... did I miss something?" If you look at book 5, ch. 38, pg 851, you will see that he is in jail.  
  
"You wait. I'll have you. You can't land my father in prison—" "I thought I just had," said Harry. "The dementors have left Azkaban," said Malfoy quietly. "Dad and the others'll be out in no time...."  
  
And thank you so much for praising me! I feel so loved! :D  
  
Yeah well in this chapter there's finally some realization on Harry's part. The things I said would happen in the summary are finally beginning to take shape. Enjoy.

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'Bloody hell. What's happening to me anyway? First I join with the people in this dump and now I'm being nice to Potter?' thought Draco angrily as he flung himself against the wall in the hallway that held Mrs. Black's ever- sticking portrait.  
  
"Hello, dear boy. Doing your bidding for our Lord here. This house shouldn't have such horrible filthy mudbloods in here. But you belong here, in the house of my fathers. You're pure, and therefore serve the Dark Lord."  
  
"Oh shut up already. I told you, I don't serve ANYONE."  
  
Mrs. Black's mood instantly changed. "Never say such things! You FILTHY, LITTLE, UNGREATFUL, HORRID, UNWORTHY, .... Ahck!" She cried in surprise as a vase flew into her and shattered. A few pieces of glass were embedded into her "body". And for once, she seemed to stunned to talk.  
  
"Related to you or not, I don't belong here." And with that Draco left the hall.  
  
'Can't I get even one second to sit and brood in this horrible house? It's been like this every day. That fat Weasel has been ordering me around, telling me to clean, and then that bitchy woman in the portrait never shuts up. Hell, why did I even come here in the first place? Oh yes, because the people in my house were going to kill me. Brilliant.'  
  
"Ouch... oh my apologies." murmured Lupin distracted, who had collided with Draco while going down the stairs. He seemed, just like Draco, to be lost in thought.  
  
"Watch it!" Draco snapped instinctively. 'That's right, remind then that you're a Malfoy still and that you won't be taken lightly... who am I trying to kid? I don't even want to be recognized as one of them.'  
  
Lupin looked up, with a cold and blank stare. Then surprisingly he smiled.  
  
"It's good to know, no matter what the circumstances, some people don't change."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about, werewolf?" Draco demanded. He had learned of Lupin's true identity at the end of the 3rd year along with all the other students and was truly angry Snape hadn't told him. 'Ok, now he's really getting on my nerves. Just because his best friend died he has to go all crazy. Why can't he just be normal and throw a raging fit? Or at least try to get revenge. It would make us all happier.'  
  
Draco had been deliberately rude to Lupin lately, in attempt to get him to yell. But to no avail. 'That man is a rock, he show's absolutely no feelings.'  
  
"Oh nothing, I guess...." Lupin trailed off.  
  
Just as Draco was about to shoot another snide comment Lupin's way he noticed his wrists. 'Wow.... I didn't think Lupin would... I mean... wow... that idiot, how could he do this? He's the closest bloody thing to a parent Harry has. Why should I care though, his loss, not mine. I just want to get out of this house, but where to....'

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"So how rude was Malfoy when he came to get you Harry? I'll bet it was dreadful. We wanted to go, but they said it was his chance to prove his 'allegiance to the order'." Said Hermione, who still held a look of concern for Harry.  
  
"Oh, he wasn't bad." Harry answered plainly.  
  
"You've got to be kidding us right Harry? That little bloody git, not bad? I mean come on, your talking about the idiot that has tortured us all school long!" Ron stammered.  
  
Harry shot a dark look at Ron. "I don't kid anymore Ron." His voice was colder than ice. He then turned his back to Ron, who was stunned, and seemed very hurt by this comment.  
  
The room they were in was the same one Harry had shared with Ron last winter. Nothing much seemed to have changed in the time that had passed. The only difference was that it was a bit cleaner without Harry's things strewn about.  
  
"Oh Harry, you shouldn't blame him for saying that. I mean he does have a point. However, I'm not so dense," she shot a glare at Ron, "as to think people never change."  
  
Harry couldn't tell if she was accusing or supporting Ron, so he didn't answer.  
  
"Where has Draco been staying in the house anyway?" although Harry had directed this question to Hermione, typical Ron butted in an answer.  
  
"Here." He groaned.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Just in time to break the tension rising in the room, Ginny came in shouting.  
  
"Harry! Oh you don't know how glad I am that you're here!"  
  
"Hey Ginny." He responded habitually.  
  
"You don't know how awful the suspense around here has been."  
  
"Suspense for what?"  
  
"For your safe arrival of course." Ginny replied as if it was a simple fact. Realizing he didn't get it she added, "No one was sure if Draco was loyal yet. They thought he might be working for Voldemort." Harry caught Ron flinch. "Well, no one except for Snape of course. And because he is now technically Draco's legal guardian, he wouldn't allow him to be tested with a truth potion."  
  
'Legal guardian eh? Then he must have been his godfather. Couldn't have been related because Sirius would have told me... Sirius...' Once again Harry's mood had dropped by thinking of him.  
  
"Oh, dinners in a bit Hermione. We should go and help my mom in the kitchen." Ginny said.  
  
"Hmm. Be down in time you guys." Hermione said as she left the room.

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'Oh great, I can't even go into my bloody room.' Draco thought upon seeing Harry and Ron sitting in there. He headed further down the hall in hopes of finding an empty room. Towards the end of the hallway there was a door that was shut. He attempted to open it but couldn't.  
  
'Why would they lock a door in this house? Oh, I'll bet they're hiding something. No problem a simple...damn! They still have my wand...'  
  
"That was his room." A sad voice said from behind him.  
  
"And why should I care Potter?" Draco snapped, startled. He hated to be surprised.  
  
"You wanted to get into it." He replied blankly. 'Actually, I thought you might want to know. Whatever.' he thought.  
  
"Doesn't mean I needed your help Potter." Draco attempted to keep the hatred in his voice, but failing miserably.  
  
Harry now found himself staring at Draco. 'I wonder if he really still hates me. I don't think I hate him... what reason do I still have to?'  
  
'Why does he always have to stare like that? Its like he's looking right into me.'  
  
"Would you quit it already!" Draco yelled.  
  
Harry didn't reply.  
  
"What is wrong with this house anyway? Nobody ever says a word. It's like you're all living corpses! You just stare at anyone who does talk."  
  
Had Harry been his normal self, he would have contradicted the blonde, by talking back. However he no longer had the strength to make a comeback and thus proved Draco's statement by staring yet again.  
  
"There you guys are! I've been looking for you. Dinner's ready and we've been waiting." Ginny said agitated. She had just come up the stairs and down the hallway, and hadn't heard any of their previous conversation. She walked away heading down the stairs.  
  
Harry and Draco exchanged a glance and then followed after her, deliberately distancing themselves as they walked. Harry really didn't want to have another row with Draco. He never used to be bothered by it, and in fact used to use it as a way to take his anger out. But now the words stung, haunting him.  
  
'Stupid me. Why do I always do that? I can never have a civil conversation. I always have to snap. I act too much like my father. No! I don't act like him. I could never be compared to that horrible scum.' Draco thought restlessly as he trailed behind Harry. 'It's this bloody house that does it. Makes everyone here insane. It's a good thing we'll be leaving for school soon.'  
  
As they entered the kitchen one could not help but notice the look on Mrs. Weasly's face. Her eyes were bloodshot, and looked as if they would have been flooded with tears, if there were any left to shed. Mr. Weasly, seated at the far end of the table, held a fork and knife in his trembling hands. Next to him Ginny sat down and on the other side sat an empty seat for Mrs. Weasly who was serving the food. Also seated at the table were other members of the Order including Tonks, Snape, Moody, Bill, Charlie, and Kingsly. Harry quickly took a seat between Hermione and Ron. Right after, Draco took a seat across from them, attempting to look disgusted that he had to sit with such people.  
  
Once everyone was seated they began to eat. Nobody said a word. It was the strangest meal Harry had ever had. (And that's saying a lot when you consider that for him, eating in a closet was normal.) About 5 minutes into the meal people were finally beginning to chat.  
  
"Looks like Mums had another row with Percy." Said Ron quietly.  
  
"It really is dreadful how he treats her. It's quite awful how everyone treats each other actually..." Hermione sighed. Her face held that hazed look Luna usually had.  
  
'Wait a second,' Harry thought 'Where's Lupin? I haven't seen him since he greeted me at the door.' His train of thought was disrupted by a loud crack.  
  
"Hey Mum, Dad..." Said Fred.  
  
"Are we late again?" asked George  
  
"'Cause we really don't mean to be, it's just with the shop and all..."  
  
"...It's been real busy."  
  
"...Getting harder and harder to close on time each day."  
  
"Just take a seat boys. You know, you really should apparate somewhere else, and enter the kitchen civilly. You give us quite a start when you do that." Said Mr. Weasly in a very Percy like manner. He was really just trying to keep from taking his anger out on the irritating twins.  
  
The twins took a seat and almost instantly the surroundings changed. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off of everyone's shoulders by their arrival. The chatter grew and even a few laughs could be heard. But still there was no sign of Lupin.  
  
"Anyone up for some of our new deserts?" asked George.  
  
"What are they going to do this time? Make our heads explode?" Asked Ron expecting a laugh, but none came. He sank back into his chair wishing he could be invisible.  
  
"Actually we're not sure what they'll do..." admitted Fred.  
  
"...Which is precisely why we wanted you guys to try them." laughed George  
  
"Why don't you just use some of the kids you hired? Or maybe get a house elf?" questioned Ron. "RON!" bellowed Hermione. "How dare you say such cruel things?! They really should ban the use of people for taste testing. They don't know what they are getting themselves into! And don't you even try to use a house elf! Remember S.P.E.W.? I do have some people backing me up now, and we wouldn't hesitate to turn you in!" she reprimanded.  
  
"I was just kidding 'ermione. Geeze..."  
  
Hermione just glared at Ron and then turned her attention to Harry.  
  
"You agree with me don't you Harry?"  
  
"Huh?" He asked dazed. He had been lost in thought for quite a while now. Sitting across from Draco was not the greatest idea. 'You know, he actually is good looking. I mean, that silky blonde hair you just want to.... oh god! What am I saying? I shouldn't be having thoughts like this. I mean, he's my enemy... isn't he?'  
  
"Harry!" Hermione barked.  
  
"Oh yeah... I guess..."  
  
"You know Harry, we're..." she looked over to Ron who was laughing at the twin's reaction to some of their deserts. He hadn't been paying the slightest attention to Hermione. "Well.... I'm always here for you if you need to talk. You seem so lost lately. I would be happy to help..." a sad expression crossed Hermione's face. One deeper than Harry had ever seen.  
  
"Thanks 'ermione..." Out of all the people seeing Hermione sad was the worst thing. Hermione angry, yes. Hermione overwhelmed and at breaking point, yes. But sad, truly sad, was just horrible.  
  
"NOW THAT'S ENOUGH!" Bellowed Mrs. Weasly from the other end of the table. Apparently Fred and George had crossed the line with their new "deserts". Both of the twins were as bloated as a puffer fish, and were bobbing up and down on the ceiling.  
  
"What?" Asked George laughing.  
  
"We were just trying out our new Puffer Pudding Pastries." Stated Fred  
  
"Care to have a bite?"  
  
"You boys better have a way to fix that, because if you don't, don't expect us to help you! You'll be bobbing up and down on that ceiling for the rest of your lives for all I care!" Mrs. Weasly was truly scary when she was mad. Her once short and stout body seemed to tower over you, and her eyes gleamed with rage. It was enough to make anyone's hair stand on end.  
  
"Oh we do Mum..."  
  
"Don't you worry now..."  
  
"We'll get it all sorted out..."  
  
"I think..." said an uncertain Fred.  
  
Ron who had been laughing hysterically at the whole scene, finally shut up as Mrs. Weasly directed her glare toward him. He gulped and sank back into his chair, and for the 2nd time that night wished he could become invisible.  
  
"It was a lovely meal Molly." Complemented Tonks as she stood up to leave. The rest followed in suite until those attending Hogwarts were all that remained. Mrs. Weasly had whipped up some spells to clean the dishes and hurried out the door mumbling something about Diagon Alley.  
  
Having the four Gryffindors sitting at one table seemed normal enough. But when you added the Slytherin...well that was when things got a bit tricky. Draco seemed to take pleasure in listening in on the other's conversations and refusing to leave.  
  
"Does it bother you that I'm here?" He asked annoyingly when they stopped in mid sentence. They had been talking about what classes they would have to take and had gotten to the subject of potions.  
  
"Well, if you wouldn't mind, we would like if you left." Said Hermione dignently.  
  
'No not at all' Thought Harry simultaneously. He was finding staring at Draco an adequate distraction from the meaningless chatter.  
  
And so the night went until they retired to their rooms (all _2_ of them!) and after much ridicule in the boy's room, fell asleep. Harry was up for yet another tormented night of dreams, but maybe this time something would be a little different.

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Ok, that's iti for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed. Now don't hesitate (more like I'm demanding you :D) to push that little friendly button down there. I really appreciate all the reviews! -Mel 


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